Here I am scrolling up the chat to see what time we talked last night and checking my phone a 101 times to check your last seen. Or for the messages I sent to be checked off with two blue ticks. Yet its past three hours. I haven’t seen you come online..why am I stupidly waiting not even knowing whether you will start a conversation with me. Why am I all of a sudden hoping for your message when you haven’t even bothered to message me for two months. Am I angry ? Can I be angry ? I don’t know because I’m smiling when i am texting you. You Are making me smile. And just when I think I can get used to this routine… You make me doubt myself.. Bcos I haven’t seen you online. Its so tempting to go and message you. But i won’t. I’ll wait…

I’m going sleep, now that I got this thought out of my head



October 12 ! 

What’s thanksgiving?

Why do they celebrate it ?

How do you not know ?

A new hair cut,

A scenario, three years ago

We had a bond,

An understanding,

A care,

We asked  questions and shared things

You knew what will hurt me,

I know what will make you happy,


You did the things you said you wouldn’t do.

I had to suffer to see you in pain,

I was careless,

I was childish,

When I seeked forgiveness,

You said it didn’t mean anything

I was literally a stranger, walking right past through you

A past I was,

A past that didnt mean anything

Years after,

Here I am wondering what went wrong

In my wandering thoughts


And you question the apologies…

Its been too long to ever go back normal

But it will always prick my heart

To have a known someone who cares  for you,

Is a blessing

But not  all blessings are meant to last a lifetime,

Some are seasonal,

As the leaves of fall wither away,

Memories are wavering



I know I have hurt you

Hurt you beyond repair

I know you have moved on,

I don’t know if I have,

I never even forgot to move on,

I know I showed you hatred,

Hatred beyond my words can mend,

I know I have let you down,

I should not be surprised if you hate me now,

I cannot blame you,

But I still remember the first time we talked

The first time we met

In the midst of subway station

Little did I know, our ways would go parallel

You are not giving me chance to talk to you

I have been living with those memories

They are not letting me sleep

I am wide awake at dawn

Thinking about all the mean things I did to you

I didn’t know I had the  heart too

Here I am awake

Thinking of things to …..

Mend… Fix

I know I walked way

I didn’t know you will push me when I come back one day

It hurts

Even if you yell at me, I would live with that pain ,

You rarely spoke words against me

You endured my torture

I am sorry,

Hear me out once please

Your silence is adding fuel to my restless heart

I could only imagine how much i killed you with silence

I am sorry

I am asking for forgiveness

Because no one like you in my life

You were special

This sorry, means nothing to you, now

I am sorry,

I know you are better,

I know you are happier.

I know you are successful,

I am glad.

I am sorry,

Sorry I was not there,

Sorry I broke my promise,

I am sorry,

Kurvimoola :’)



As I was sitting tiredly in subway,

I suddenly happen to come across a smile that reminded me of you
Helplessly I smiled
It’s been a while since I saw your smile
I can’t even text u about the smile
Bcos we no longer text


I want have the innocence of her shining eyes,

I want to have the curiosity that behold her eyes,

I want to be able to look at the world, and just smile.

I want to close my eyes, to things I don’t want to see..

I want to close my ears, for the things I don’t want to hear…

Tough Times

If you are choosing to walk away from me, during my tough times

Please don’t expect me to welcome you, when I am happy.

If you choose to despise to me, when I fail

Please don’t expect me to respect to you, when I succeed.

I know

It is harsh,

But your actions were not any better.

You might call me a witch with an attitude,


You were not an angel with character.

Don’t expect sympathy,


You aren’t getting any.

If you are feelings were not deep,

All you can do is, weep.

The tears I cried, were my last


It’s alright – You are a past.

How can you judge me?

When you rarely know about thyself?

I told you, how I felt,


Your heart never melts…

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